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Screw you 2011, I’m Unleashing the Dragon

9 Feb

Apologies for giving you blue blog balls – I know you’ve been anticipating this post and I refuse to give you the satisfaction just because I let you cop a feel while I was drunk. I’ve been having a love affair with Netflix and really, I’m so busy staring off into space at work while my creative juices dry up like a woman on menopause that I haven’t had time to write. I’ve also turned terribly vulgar and have lit my filter on fire – a well-known side effect to having post-traveling ennui.

So basically in 2011 I’m a failure. I had this magical life-long goal that I would celebrate New Year’s in a country I’ve never been to before every single year. I was successful the last two years in the UK & Ecuador. For some reason however, it just didn’t happen this year. I blame it on this ancient Chinese superstition – the curse of the Chinese zodiac (via Jenny). You see, 2011 is the year of the rabbit – and I was born during this year – so therefore, this will be a very unlucky year. And the only thing that will protect me are DRAGONS. Rar.

So here I go…!!! Unleashing the DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Try to find him in all the shots, it’s like playing where’s waldo?

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His name is Fred – a tiny “grow your own” Dragon that I carried with me during my travels throughout China, Macau, and Thailand. He was given to me by my dear friend Jennio. Unfortunately, I lost him in China so I couldn’t take him with me on the rest of my travels around the world. Ultimate Sadface.

Okay, so my new year’s wasn’t ALL that terrible and it did have some international flair. I dressed up like a vivacious pilot wearing authentic Chinese aviator goggles at a fake airline launch party, which was held inside an old hangar tucked away in the warehouse district in Brooklyn, NY. I was accompanied by a British Top Gun pilot so I guess that’s as close as I was gonna get to kicking off the new year on foreign soil. Doesn’t beat playing with monkeys and shamans in the Amazon jungle like I did last year (which I hope to write about very soon).

Flashback Travel Moment:

While I was digitally rummaging through my photos I stumbled upon this funny parallel between two New Year’s experiences that involve a glimpse into my thug lyfe.

(ABOVE: New Year’s 2008 in London. BELOW: New Year’s 2011 in NYC)

Don’t worry, I try to keep my criminal activities at a minimum and offset this behavior by working at a healthcare company, “saving lives.”


Death On Wheels, Bali & NYC

6 Nov

What do NYC & Bali have in common? Pretty much nothing except for the dirty air.

Recently I participated in the world’s most DANGEROUS skateboarding race in NYC. Known as the Broadway Bomb, I longboarded about 2 hours straight through the clusterbog of pedestrian tourists and angry cab drivers. While riding through times square I was towed by a bike delivery-man, then at one point I latched onto the back of the bus – I felt like I was going to die. My left butt-cheek was sore for weeks but it was fun.

Speaking of sore butt cheeks, this conjurs up a similar time when I thought I was going to die riding on the back of a moped for 3 hours straight in Bali, Indonesia. I wanted to go to Tulamben where I could dive the USS Liberty Wreck, one of the most famous wrecks in the world. The only way to ride free was by moped. I hopped on the back of some Joe Schmoe, put on a sweaty helmet, and proceeded to damage the baby-maker from all the dirt bumps in the road.

You see, in Bali there are no sidewalks. There are very few “highways” that will take you from one side of the island to the other. So the entire time I was breathing up toxic fumes from trucks and every second was a near-death experience with all the whizzing mopeds. My face was so dirty by the end of the trip that when I took my sunglasses off you could see dirt-stained shape around my eyes. Fashionable.

My favorite catch of the day was the sighting of the fat Indonesian kid waiting for his ride….mooooo.

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